The Thoughts Behind the Winter of Hesitation
by lightstriker
Summary: Their Teachers' confessions about his past left the class 3-E students in deep anguish and confusion. This is the behind-the-scene stories for each of them, developing themselves without the teacher's guidance to pick the side in the Civil War arc in the manga and finding their own resolves. There will be slice of life quotes for every chapter. Please Rate and Review :)
1. Prologue

**Thoughts Beneath the Winter of Hesitation**

 **CONTAINS SPOILER**

 **Allright, guys, this is my other fanfics about ansatsu kyoushitsu. The theme this time now, is the winter of hesitation, when Koro-sensei revealed his past and the class E fell into confusion and hesitation. Im writing in English now, since I felt like it. Indonesia readers still welcome though.**

 **Disclaimer : Assasination Classroom or Ansatsu Kyoushitsu belongs to Matsui Yuusei and others who took part in publishing manga and anime legally.**

 **Brief Summary : The students are left confused and disheartened after Koro-sensei's confession. This is their thought, It also connects on which team in civil war they will belong.**

 **Note : The style is drama, but it has Romance, Friendship, and slice of life also. There will be a quote for each chapter.**

* * *

.

.

The silence of the night, still plagues the whole Kunugigaoka's end class, as their homeroom teachers reveals his secret—the dark past he has, the redemption and the new leaf he has turned. All the students didn't doubt a bit, about the Octopus monster's stories. Expression of anguish, sadness, shock, and confusion are full on many of their faces. Even the calmest and most rational students, Isogai, Kataoka, Hayami, Kanzaki, Chiba, Hazama, Nagisa, and Takebayashi couldn't hide their anguish. Terasaka's group, the group that considered to be the most distant of the class, also showing their own negative emotions, even the ever-stoic Itona has shown doubt after the events unfold.

Not just the student, but also their subject teachers, the elite force ex-member, Tadaomi Karasuma and the femme fatale, Irina felt their students' anguish. To be fair the two has developed affection for the ex-killer, now kind-hearted teacher.

No one the students talked after that shocking revelation. But their thoughts in unison are the same :

"SHOULD WE REALLY KILL THIS TEACHER?"

Is what all the people of that night thought. For once, they realized their teacher is a person. Not a monster in game, and realized that their assassination attempts aren't an easy-going assassination game.

It was real.

The students, went their own way to comprehend what they should do from then.

* * *

 **This Chapter is just a prologue. It seems that Matsui loves to make many 'blank area' in the manga, probably not to keep the manga too long. Which is good I think, so I decided to make your curiousity gone. Anyway I hope you guys keep rate and review my work. I will put quotes in anime/manga and sometimes philosophical ones in every chapter.**

 **The Stories will focus on Drama – styled story, also the developments will be manga based. I think its fair to say that every people think this through to make decision in civil wars.**


	2. Representative's Time : My Physician

**Representatives' Time : My Physician**

 **Character : Yuma Isogai, Kataoka Megu.**

 **Genre : Friendship/Romance**

 **Disclaimer : Assasination Classroom is Matsui Yuusei's**

* * *

.

The weather has been very cold outside, though it's not snowing yet. As usual, Yuma Isogai, the ikemen and the male rep of the class is doing his part-time job at the café near his house. Though his ikemen abilities still top-notch despite the emotional pressure, Isogai admits he is not feeling 100% lately. His pace is not as quick as always. The owner, and the ladies knew that and they sometimes asked what happened, since her mother are well and the finance has been good for them lately.

Isogai just smiles when someone said that, only saying 'school problem' when he was asked. He took off his phone and see his shift almost over. He decided to sit, knowing it's the last shift, meaning the closing time almost here. His face tensed when he saw a tall, woman figure coming.

Kataoka Megu.

The class reps has been dating in secret for a while now, means they are lovers now. Though the two still too shy to use such cliché words. The ikemen smiled at his lover and welcome her in. She had been helping him sometimes in the café, so the owner knows her, also probably their secret relationship, which only a certain people know in the class, besides their teacher of course.

The couple sit in one of the chair. The owner just smiled though, since there are no more customer, he decided to gave Isogai a break. The two class reps just stared at each other, before Isogai broke the silence.

"Kataoka, it seems you have a problem." Like he didn't know, all the class have problems. But he just saying that to provoke Katoaka to talk.

"Um..Yuuma-kun…I wanted to talk about…Koro-sensei." The ikemen had foreseen this. Some people like Maehara and Sugino sometimes talk to him about this kind of problem, asking for advice and such. Being a kind-hearted man he is, he decided to listen to everyone. His girlfriend is no exception.

"Do you think…we have been wrong until now?" Kataoka, face down said with weak voice, deep anguish exists in her voice.

"Wrong? What do you mean?"

"I mean, we try to kill him, goodness. He is a person. We think this assassination thing is like a game!" The female class rep lashed out a bit to her fellow ikemen.

"I also think that too. I don't want to kill people. It's bad and I don't want to experience that." Isogai sighed and continued. "Is there any way to save him? I really wanted to. " Isogai declares sincerely. His face is hiding the sadness he felt. He has to be strong, people looked up to him.

"I- I don't know.." Kataoka stuttered. "My head is spinning lately, I couldn't even focus. Its either he or this earth."

"Yes, but we have to found a way, somehow." Isogai stated with optimism. "We had Karasuma-sensei and government, they had to have something we can use."

"True.. but what if they don't?" Kataoka sighed.

"Yeah, but what if they have? We could save him, and we just let him die, that's wrong. We have to try." Isogai said with confidence. A true Ikemen indeed.

"Yuuma-kun... I need to ask you something." Seeing this topic will go no where, Kataoka decided to change the topic."Do you feel….angry after hearing Koro-sensei's dark past?" Seriousness in her tone, Kataoka faced his fellow class-rep.

"Honestly, I have to say…no. He turned a new leaf, so that is all that matters." The male class rep said.

"Yeah, me too.." Replied Kataoka weakly.

"Kataoka..i have something to share with you...about one of the reason I chose to save him…It's actually Miss Yukimura from that story that inspires me."

"Inspire you? How?"

"I have read one of the book about Western culture and religions…I found a very good quote from their Book." The male class rep continues. "The savior said this one : The whole need not for physician, it is the sick who needed it." Isogai finished his sentence with enthusiasm. It seems that not even this…tribulation could dampen much of the Ikemen's spirit. Before he continues, Kataoka cut him.

"A parable? What does it meant?"

"It means that, people who are lost is in need of searching." Isogai chuckles and continues. "Koro-sensei was lost once…Yukimura become his healer and gave him a new life." Isogai explained. Kataoka seemed surprised, seeing her lover and fellow class rep has a very deep philosophical thinking. She smiled kindly on Isogai, hearing those words actually ease her up a bit.

"I see…Yeah. And he also become our 'physician' in a way. We are lost like him, once. But he gave us a new outlook, that even dropouts like us…could be worth in something." Kataoka said with a weak smile. She looked at Isogai lovingly and opens her mouth again. A faint blush creeped on her cheeks.

"I think I picked the right man." Kataoka said with a smile, holding Isogai's hand. The male class rep's face reddened with her actions and remark. But he is glad that she finally felt better. They both looked at each other for a while until Isogai stood up.

"Since he gave us a new life and a lesson, I think it's fair we have to save his life, isn't it?" Isogai held out Kataoka's hand again on his. His face now brimming with reassurance and confidence to carry out his virtues. They both are class reps, they have to do this.

"Yes..Yuuma-kun. Together, you and me, and all the class." The female class rep finally smiled brightly, the dependable Ikemegu has been restored.

 _Maybe the girl doesn't know yet, but Isogai may also be her physician in that moment….saving her from the lost._

* * *

 **The quote in this chapter is from Holy Bible of Christianity Religion. Matthew 9:12, Luke 5:31. If you say why I quote religious scripture, I guess it was inspired by Captain America and DC Heroes that quote holy books. So I think Japanese manga that unfamiliar with Abrahamic Religions can have a touch of it. And also, and Isogai is a social-studies expert. So I figured, he might read some of Western philosophy and religion.**

 **Well, Europeans and Americans should know this quote.**

 **Hope you like it, and don't forget...Rate and Review :)**


	3. Sniper's Time : Thoughts and Courage

**Sniper's Time : Thoughts and Courage**

 **Characters : Ryuunosuke Chiba, Rinka Hayami.  
Genre : Friendship/Romance**

 **Disclaimer : Ansatsu Kyoushitsu belongs to Yuusei Matsui !**

.

* * *

Sounds of airsoft gun blast echoes the shooting range. In fact it was the only sound that can only be heard of in there. Several meters far from the target, a duo, one a boy, and one a girl are standing, practicing their aim. Though they were called the 'best snipers' in their class, their performance has been dropping in these winter holidays. The training today did not seem to got the results they wanted. The duo looked on their scoreboard and both sighed. It seems their aim has worsen from time to time.

 **Rinka Hayami**

Score : 68/100

 **Ryuunosuke Chiba**

Score : 71/100

As it was expected, the duo didn't seem so surprised by their unnaturally bad score, they indeed have lose their touch with that kind of score. They couldn't focus anyhow, thinking whether this kind of practice still have meaning in the future. The duo left the practice range, and went outside, they both saw the snow started to fall. The two walked silently across the town. Though silent, their emotions seems to connect with each other's expressions and thoughts. They realized words are not needed. Simply staying near with each others are enough to felt their confusion and anguish, though they will not show it. This kind of communication, is developed with their bond based on short but deep platonic relations as the sniper pairs and their recent romantic relationship.

The couple finally decided to rest on the park bench not far from there. The green-eyed girl finally break her silence. She had been wanting to talk about this with her partner, but she couldn't seem say it because she is not sure herself.

"Ryuunosuke…" The girl, calling her partner by his first name, out of closeness, said weakly. The boy just nodded and looked at her.

"Yes?" Was all he could reply. He understands her, what she going to say, because the boy actually had think the same thing recently.

"Should we…continue the assassination?" The girl finished weakly.

"…" The boy stayed silent, as if waiting for her to speak another word.

"I..We never looked at him as a person, don't we?" Her words are shaking, beneath the cold exterior Rinka has, a delicate and warm heart exists in her. "I mean, he is a person. Not a monster. We are killing a person, not a game character." Chiba stayed silent on her question, seems to thinking himself.

"When he is gone, he is gone." Rinka shakingly said. The girl rarely felt this emotion, only this time, it's enough for tears to build up on her eyes. But she will never cry. Never. She is a strong woman, she had to be strong.

"Then." Chiba finally replied. "We just quit all hard work we done from start?" Chiba tensed a bit, and continues. "The bond he said we share? The assassins and the target?" Chiba finished, his tone filled with surpressed emotion.

Looking at her partner, Rinka stayed silent. Chiba opens his mouth again, this time seriousness filled his voice. "We grew up, because we keep trying to assassinating him, Rinka. It was our goal from the start. Also, it's his goal also. I want to respect his wishes."

Rinka blinked before answering. " You never thought about saving him?" Chiba shrugged with his partner's remark. His eyes shown for a second beneath his long bangs. What Rinka saw is…sadness? despair? She could never comprehend his partner's emotion. Though he smiles more often than her, it's harder to see his true emotions beneath his long, black colured hair that covers half of his face.

"I never thought it. I always assumed he would never be saved.. If there is a way, wouldn't the world goverments consider it? Factually, there is no." Chiba dryly stated. "I am a realist, Rinka." Rinka hated to admit it, but she thinks that his partner is right. There may be no way to save him, and if there is a way, it may be near-impossible to obtain and know it for sure, it's either the world destroyed or saved right? Before she could speak however, Chiba spoke again.

"Rinka, you said it before, right? When we was back then on the island. After the failed assassination attempt and after we get rid of that Takaoka?" Chiba chuckled, his partner looked up on him. "When I asked why we did this, you said the only way to graduate and move on fully is by killing Korosensei. It was the class goal."

"…." Rinka fell into deep silence. She, like the rest of the class was sure of assassinating their teacher, until that disturbing revelation. Chiba noticed her silence and continues.

"We need to assassinate him. It's for this world, and for us to fully move on from him. Proof that we had succeeded the teacher. To move to our future." He said confidently, his eyes staring into the light-grey coloured sky above, with snow falling on his face.

Rinka contemplates for some time until she finally nodded in agreement. "Yeah..you are right. I'm the one who told you that." She paused, her words are trapped on her minds, but she decided to say it. "Thank you, Ryuunosuke." Her sincere words were accompanied by her small, but sincere smile.

"For what?" Her partner asked, raising up his brows, only partially visible behind his hair.

"For reminding me of our class goal, our purpose, and my goal that I lost." Rinka smiled and lean on her lover's shoulder, looking at his face. Both of them blushed lightly out of their closeness, they were never good as something 'mushy' like this.

"It's not that easy." Her partner suddenly shifted to a very serious mode, suddenly realizing the reality that will be unfold. "You said class-goal but I think not everyone will agree with us." Chiba plainly stated. Rinka's face tensed, the thought of the consequences of the recent events finally get to her now.

"Rinka, I talked with Karma yesterday. He wants to continue the assassination, but he thinks the same as I am—at least half the class will dislike our choices." The best shooter in the 3-E stated while holding his anti-sensei rifle on his hand, seems to polish it with his hand. Rinka stayed silent, half listening to Chiba—but it seems she knows what he will say next.

"What about those who most likely think to save him? I can name some, Isogai, Nagisa, Maehara, Kurahashi-san, Yada-san, Hara-san, Okuda-san, do you think they have the heart to do that? Or they think like we do?" Rinka stayed silent with her partner's explanation, the name he listed are the same that she worries about.

"There will be—"Chiba continued, but Rinka cut him half sentenced.

"Schism, Divide." Rinka finished for him.

"That's right." Chiba stated plainly. His eyes now fill with worry, still looking up to the sky, hoping some clarity in the storm of his mind. "It takes courage to face your enemies , but more when facing your friends. We have to be prepared in making them realize what is our goal." Chiba finished plainly

"But we will be together, right? So that's fine." Rinka answered him, her face now decorated with a loving smile, now holding Chiba's hand, their fingers touched each others. The closeness make both of them blushed beet red, although Chiba is the more embarrassed looking one.

"Y-Yes." Chiba stuttered, looking away to hide his deep blush.

"One more question, Ryuunosuke….If..i suddenly change my mind and wants to save Korosensei…Will..will you be there with me?" Rinka asked, she didn't know what she asked, honestly, it just felt that she HAD to ask him, to make sure she wasn't alone. She needs him to have courage to face all of this.

"Of course, Rinka." Now Chiba's face is smiling lovingly at his lover. The snow fell from the sky deepens the atmosphere within the two, they did not felt cold at all, each of them give warmth to others. Rinka felt like a fool for a second after asking him that. She knows he will be there for her always, their bond is stronger than mere 'class goal' that they spoke of.

Eventually, it gives them the courage they needed, to kill their sensei…and to face the class with opposing views

 _Words are never needed, they knew they will always be together…._

* * *

 **Whoo. My OTP. Sorry guys I always biased to make romance stories with Chiba and Hayami. I always wondered that Chiba and Hayami may understand each other, almost at the level of Maehara and Isogai. That was intended toward Friendship at the end. They didn't talk much, yet comes first together to pick red faction in war. Also i imagine they are they consider each other a place to talk about their troubles.**

 **The quotes is from Harry Potter's Albus Dumbledore in the first series. Why I made this to Chiba? I felt Chiba is one of the guys in the class 3-E that has 'loud thoughts' due to his introverted personality, so I picked him.**

 **So don't forget to Rate and Review Guys.**


End file.
